Mummy's entry - on disciplining the girl

Haye Li is getting cheekier and cheekier by the day, which baby doesn’t?! So when things get out of hand, I will punish her by either scolding her or smacking her. I haven’t really tried the naughty corner on her till recently and was pleasantly surprised that this girl actually understood the concept especially when I’ve not used the naughty corner on Rye Li for a long time now ever since Haye Li was born. I’m guessing that the daycare has taught her on how she’s supposed to be punished for her wrongdoings.

One of the evenings last week when I had to pick the girls up from the daycare, Haye Li refused to sit in her car seat. I didn’t have the time to coax her as there was a parent outside of the gate waiting for me to reverse my car out of the compound. So I had to force the girl to be strapped on her car seat, it took me several minutes with her screaming and crying.

She screamed and cried 90% of the way home. I was so fuming mad already with the rush I had to encounter with her that when she was not screaming, I was telling her that I will be punishing her when we get home and that she is to sit at the naughty corner. Whether she understood me at that time was the last thing on my mind and really, I expected her to also throw a tantrum on this.

So when we reached home, she was already calmed and I told her that I am still angry with her for not wanting to sit in her car seat and also she managed to remove the top part of the seat belt and that I’m going to put her at the naughty corner for 5 minutes when we got back. She actually smiled at me with her sweetest smile when I wanted to carry her out of the car but I didn’t smile back and told her that she is still going to be punished. Then she looked up at my face when I was carrying her as if to test if I was serious or not. She realized I was serious and kept quiet throughout the walk to home.

Once we entered the house, I washed her hands and feet and put her at the naughty corner. I asked her to sit down but she refused and I told her to stand there for at least 5 minutes and if she moves, I will take the cane (she is really terrified of the cane). I went on to do my things around the house and I actually left her there for nearly 15 minutes. I really expected her to cry but she didn’t. She just stood there with a wide gap between her and the wall and after a while, she realized that it’s tiring standing like that, she leaned on the wall. And then later, she sat down.

When it was nearly 15 minutes, I went to her and explained to her why she was being punished and asked if she was going to be naughty again. She replied “No” and when I asked her will she be a good girl now and she nodded her head “yes”. I asked her to apologise to me and she put her 2 hands up on her head and went “soyee mummy” and then I asked for a hug and kiss in which she willingly gave me and then she was off to play with her toys.

the naughty corner (actually suppose to be on the left part against the wall but she wanted to sit at that spot) this pic was taken several weeks back before the major incident. this washer a first time and it lasted several minutes.

i was taking her pic for records sake and rye li wanted to join in too. geez! also, rye li was actually entertaining haye li with toys while she was being punished and i had to threaten rye li that she will soon join her sister and she took the toys away.

Lately, since I can now officially use the naughty corner for both of them, when both are naughty, they will be punished together there but they will have their own games and conversation when I'm not looking over them.

Mummy’s entry – One stubborn chilli padi

Haye Li is one hard headed little lady. She has been pretty vocal as a baby and believe you me, if she can really talk properly in our lingo, we would be hearing a whole lot of from her. Already, we are having an earful of baby jabbers!

She wants her way ALL the time and if we do not give in to her, she will use her crying tactics in which I would just let her cry it out (okay, it also depends on what she wants). At times, offering alternatives works but there are times, she only wants that one thing and will start going into a tantrum fit. I seriously dread when she goes into the terrible twos stage.

Recently, I started her on actual brushing on her 6 tiny teeth. Before this, it was just wet facial cottons over her gums (this was before she had real teeth) and this also she disliked it which was why I gave up till recently. She loves the actual brushing, too much in fact that she wants to brush on her own. I will let her after I have brushed it proper for her. But little miss independent doesn’t like me brushing for her that she insist she brushes her own. And by insisting means not cooperating with me, pushing my hands away, start lying on the toilet floor with some kicking, screaming, crying and whining (my neighbours probably think that I’m slaughtering her). I had to force it on her while telling her over and over again that I will brush for her first before she can do it herself. This struggling went on for like a week before she finally got the message. She lets me brush for her after she sucks off the ‘toothpaste’ (Orajel Toddler’s training toothpaste that I got from the States) in which I have to do it really quick before she starts grabbing the toothbrush. I have to praise her so that she knows I’m proud of her that she allows me to brush for her, etc.

I think this is also after a night of CRYING-IT-OUT session 2 nights ago. She woke up finding herself in her cot (which she totally hates now and I seldom use her cot and allow her to sleep with me on my bed) and she went into a fit! So I took her out and put her on my bed thinking that she would fall asleep again but I was wrong. She asked for nen-nen (she will say "nen-nen" when she wants them) which I didn’t want to give since she just drank like an hour before (I’m still trying to train her to sleep longer which I’m failing miserably as she STILL wakes up 3-4 times every night!) so I told her that my nen-nen has finished and that there’s no more. She didn’t buy it and went into her fits session. So I told her that I can make her milk for her and she cried even louder (like I said, when she wants something, she only wants that!). So I just let her cry on the bed.

Rye Li was already sleeping on the bed and this girl was squirming around and kicking all over and poor Rye Li was getting all the kicks and hearing all the screaming she made. Rye Li must have been really tired and she was still sleeping and didn’t wake up from all that disturbing. LOL!

Anyway, by this time I was really mad at Haye Li and brought her out of the room to make her milk. She was still crying so loud and wriggled in my arms while I made her milk. I was so tempted to leave her on the floor and just let her cry it out there and then but I didn’t and tried to manage not to drop her from her struggles.

What a waste of my time making her milk as she refused it and continued crying in the room. I got so fed up, I brought her out of my room again thinking that she may want her kakak instead but she also refused the maid. And even though she wanted me, while I was carrying her, she would pushed me away as if she doesn’t want me and if I let her down, she would scream for me to carry her. So it was basically, “this cannot, that cannot” mood with her. So I brought her into my room again and just let her be on the bed crying. She went on screaming and crying, refusing her bottle of milk.

By this time, I just had about enough and put her down on the floor which of course, she cried louder but I didn’t care this time (and since Rye Li could sleep all through that noise anyway). So while she cried, I just watched her cry. Interestingly, she was standing up, holding on to the bed (I thought she would be lying down on the floor and do her tantrums thingy) and just cried while going “pah-pah” (suppose to be “pau-pau” which means wants to be carried in mandarin). After several minutes or so, hubby just got home from Penang and walked into the room. In all that noise, she didn’t hear him walk in and I went “see who has come back? papa came back already”. She didn’t even look at the door but instead screamed louder as if she sense there was a ghost and her eyes had that shocked look. So I picked her up and she hugged me close and screamed and screamed as if she really saw a ghost. Hubby talked to her but it was of no use.

I brought her out of the room again and she cried for another 10 minutes or so. When finally she has calmed down, I brought her back into the room. She still asked for her nen-nen and I told her that it has finished. She wasn’t happy, cried again a little and after I explained again and again, she finally took the milk bottle and fell asleep.

By the way, no, I’m not weaning her off her nen-nen yet. It’s just because it was only like 10pm then and usually her next feed from my boobs would be after 12am onwards which is like another 3 times before we all wake up in the mornings.

Anyway, the next day, she was better behaved and allowed me to brush her teeth without a fuss. And she also allowed me again today. So the crying-it-out method is working. :D

This girl knows that hubby and I will scold her which is why she loves the maid as the maid is the only one that doesn’t scold her. She prefers her kakak over hubby and hubby has gotten the cold treatment from Haye Li already. Many times in fact and by being cold means she won’t even look or acknowledge hubby, she will push his hands away when hubby wants to carry her or touch her.

When she falls down and hurt herself badly, we will carry her and try to soothe her. Most babies will just hold on to you and want to be hugged or soothed in these situations. Not my Haye Li, she will push you away and struggle herself free while crying.

She is one stubborn little missy alright! [Anyone wants to adopt her? :D Just kidding! Haye Li, we love you still no matter how stubborn you are!]